Just because I moaned doesnt mean I hit an Orgasm.. I could have sugar coated this title but why though…. insert dancing man emoji here….

So I thought I would ease back into this blogging thing slow & steady & keep it a little PG rated & waffle on about life & that stupid fuked up thing called wanderlust which personally I think is a crock of shit. But then I watched a movie… it was about a girl & two boys & basically in a nutshell they are best mates & she fuks them both, gets pregnant, we don’t know who the dad is & we never find out & then the end. It had potential & then it shits in my mouth like when you bite into a boiled rotten egg, which I have done…. & let me tell you this eating my own shit would have tasted better.

Anyhoo so yea back to this movie, where it really lost me apart from the bogus ending is when she fuked both these guys she managed to not only orgasm with one of them but with both of them while they were on top…. Now don’t get me wrong I am sure it has happened a few times for myself but never in my wildest dreams would it ever have happened in succinct moments with two different men.

So I ponder this question…. Is it possible movies & their unrealistic sexual moments that have brought women to fake an orgasm?

I am not going to lie…. yes I have faked it on more than one occasion, but that was also back in my 20’s when let’s all face it we were all trying to work out all the elements of what a real sexual experience was. But now I am a little older it’s not about the sexual experience it’s what I can get from it.

What has been brought to my attention is that men who are somewhat older than their 20’s still have no idea how to…. how do I word this…. Know how to/ care how to/ give a fuk how to make sure a woman has an orgasm before they themselves shoot a few little fireworks into the air so to speak…. & I am not blaming men for this because let’s face it even I said I faked it a few times so maybe women have conditioned men to think that all they need to do is a few pumps a couple of hasta la vista baby moments & wham bam thank you ma’am it’s all over red rover…. Well no more kids, I am here to dispel those rumours….

Most women do not & will not orgasm with a simple hide the sausage moment…. Regardless if men are on top/side/bottom/ etc & even if they pump faster than an AK-47 that ain’t happening…. Sorry to disappoint my male comrades with this little bit of information but let’s face it you were born with two holes & we were born with three it was bound to be more intricate then a simple in/out boom light a cigarette moment.

Now I am not going to go into the depths on how you should make a woman orgasm because let’s face it we are all different & there is not a fuking chance I would go up against another fellow female trying to tell her how she should jizz in her pants, but what I am trying to say is don’t believe what Hollywood tells you or even what the girl tells you after she groans a little after a few pumps. What I will say is this though…. It’s a 96.48% chance that if you get yourself off before being creative & getting her off first then 98.4% when she “orgasms” while you are inside of her its 99.8% fake.